Romance Fraud Response Toolkit for Frontline Staff & Fraud Teams

Introduction

Romance fraud is a highly manipulative crime where victims are coerced and deceived into transferring money. Fraud teams and frontline staff must recognise that victims do not willingly give away their money—they are trapped in a powerful cycle of psychological control and manipulation. Criminals exploit trust, emotions, and even artificial intelligence (AI) tools to maintain their deception.

This toolkit provides guidance on how to effectively engage with victims, recognise signs of coercion, and use non-judgmental language when responding to suspected romance fraud cases.

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1. Recognising Signs of Romance Fraud & Coercion

Criminals behind romance fraud are often highly skilled at avoiding detection and coaching victims to lie in interactions with their bank. Some key signs include:

• Unusual or large transactions to an individual overseas or via cryptocurrency.
• Reluctance to explain transactions or giving scripted-sounding explanations.
• Defensive or secretive behaviour when questioned about the recipient.
• Requests for urgent or repeated transfers despite financial warnings.
• Mentions of an online relationship with someone they haven’t met in person, yet.
• References to an “emergency” or investment opportunity introduced by the online partner.
• Use of AI-powered deepfake video calls or voice calls to maintain the illusion of a real person (victim may show these as evidence the person is legitimate).

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2. Engaging with Potential Victims: A Non-Judgmental Approach

Victims of romance fraud often feel deep shame, embarrassment, and confusion. They may also still believe in the relationship due to the manipulative nature of the crime. Your response must be free of judgment, victim-blaming, or disbelief.

DO say:
✔️ “I understand that you care about this person. Online fraud can be incredibly sophisticated, and even the smartest people can be targeted. We just want to make sure you’re safe.”
✔️ “Many victims of this type of fraud feel as though they personally know the person, even if they’ve never met. Criminals use advanced methods, including video calls, to make it seem real.”
✔️ “It’s important to take a step back and assess whether this person might not be who they claim to be. Would you be open to exploring this together?”
✔️ “You are not at fault here. Romance fraud is designed to manipulate emotions and trust. You have been deceived, not complicit.”
✔️ “We want to support you. Let’s look at what options we have to help.”

AVOID saying:
❌ “Why would you send money to someone you’ve never met?”
❌ “Didn’t you realize this was a scam?”
❌ “You should have been more careful.”
❌ “There’s nothing we can do now—it was your decision.”

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3. Handling a Customer Who May Be Coerced

Fraudsters often instruct victims on how to answer questions from their bank to avoid suspicion. If you suspect a customer is being coerced:

• Ask open-ended questions instead of yes/no questions. Example:
  • “Can you tell me more about how you met this person?”
  • “What was the reason they gave for needing this money?”
• Gently challenge inconsistencies with care. Example:
  • “You mentioned they needed money for medical bills, but now it’s for an investment. Can we go over this again together?”
• Provide a safe space to speak:
  • “I know this can be a sensitive topic. If at any time you feel uncomfortable talking, you can always contact us privately at a later time.”
• Offer a discreet way to reach out: Provide resources like our websites and encourage a follow-up discussion when they’re in a safe place.

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4. Next Steps: Supporting the Victim After the Fraud

Once fraud is suspected or confirmed, it’s essential to handle the situation with empathy and clear guidance:

1. Ensure immediate financial protection: Block further transactions if necessary and assess if any funds can be recovered.
2. Encourage reporting: Direct them to fraud reporting agencies (e.g., Action Fraud in the UK, the FBI’s IC3 in the US, or relevant local authorities).
3. Provide emotional support resources: Recommend specialist support services like LoveSaid, victim support charities, or counseling options.
4. Offer ongoing banking safety advice: Help them secure their accounts and recognise future fraud risks.
5. Follow up sensitively: A victim’s recovery journey takes time, and ongoing compassionate engagement can make a significant difference.

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Final Thoughts

Fraud teams and frontline staff play a critical role in preventing romance fraud and supporting victims. The way you engage with affected customers can shape their recovery and willingness to seek help.

By listening without judgment, recognising coercion, and responding with empathy, you can empower victims to break free from fraud, rebuild trust, and protect themselves from further harm.

Language matters. Compassion matters. How we respond makes all the difference.